Do you meme what you say, and say what you meme? If you don’t, you should! A picture is worth a thousand words, and nothing delivers the visual snark – or silliness – quite like a meme. It’s a cheeky little nose-thumb to the world or an inside joke for your own little clique.
And just like any niche sub-culture, the world of Harry Potter fanfic has spawned its own peculiar little set of Harry Potter fanfiction memes. While the rest of the world is riveted by the latest offering of I Can Haz Cheezbuger cats, give yourself a pat on the back for your refined, insider’s pop culture tastes as you check out these
Draco’s love affair with an…apple? This little entry puts a whole new spin on the phrase “forbidden fruit.” The fanfiction universe has a reputation for being a bit no-holds barred – for better or worse – when it comes to its depiction of sexual relationships (Omegaverse, mpreg, threesomes, moresomes, harems!) But Draco’s deep, fanfic-created love for a green apple is one of the kookier examples.
Logically it would seem to have been inspired by the tense Half-Blood Prince scene where Draco uses an apple to test the functionality of the vanishing cabinet. Others think it was sparked by Draco’s apple munching scene in Prisoner of Azkaban. Whatever started it, this fanfic meme has created a lasting foothold within the fandom, leading to striking art like this mash up of Twilight and Harry Potter. Let’s hope Lucius never finds out!
Draco and Harry as winged lovers: Who says a broom is the only way to fly? In the fanfic universe, sooner or later, puberty will hit and you’ll wake up one morning sporting a glorious set just before you feel the unquenchable urge to hunt down your one true mate.
So goes the popular Veela – a Google search on “harry potter fanfic veela wings” yields over 67,000 returns – trope. This lovely little meme offers a two for one: winged Draco and Harry in a Drarry romance. Clearly, they’re meant to be. Now if they can just manage to avoid duck hunting season…
Sexy Snape?! Yes, he’s grim, grumpy and got greasy hair – but he’s still hawt! If JK Rowling hadn’t wanted people to fall in love with Snape she shouldn’t have given him such a tragically romantic back story. And if Warner Brothers hadn’t wanted the audience to drool over Snape, they should never have cast the late Alan Rickman.
Before Snape, Rickman specialized in depicting alluring bad boys and had perfected his swagger slithering across the stage in the sexy West End play Les Liaisons Dangereuses. But hindsight is 2020. And now we’re stuck with these sexy memes forever – and always! Yeah baby!
If Lily had had Harry with…Snape! Okay so Snape never escaped friend zone purgatory. That doesn’t mean his fans can’t dream a little. The Severitus fanfic sub-genre – featuring stories where Snape is Harry’s father instead of James Potter – is so popular it’s spouted its own dedicated website.
So, it’s inevitable that fanfic authors would want to see what a mashup of Lily and Snape’s genes would produce. Um…let’s all give thanks that Harry dodged that bullet!
Ministry Matchmaker: Let’s see, you’ve got no telephones, no computers, no electricity and no cars. How can we improve this situation? Oh yes, pass a forced marriage law requiring all wizards and witches to find a mate or have one found for them. Cause that’s how you want to modernize the wizard world!
Fanfic authors have been having fun with this fanfic trope for years. It offers so much rom-com potential – especially when you throw together apparent opposites like Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. Seeing who falls in love and who tries to kill each other is the name of the game.
It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s Super Harry!! He may not make it in the sex god stakes, but Harry Potter at least seems to have a lock on the top spot as Potter fanfic’s favorite superpowered hero. After all, he flies. He has a cape. He defeated an evil supervillain not once but twice. He’s even got the Clark Kent glasses!
Searching on Harry Potter fanfic superpower Harry yields more than 140,000 results. A similar search substituting Snape for Harry only yields over 80,000 results. So, we have a winner! Harry definitely deserves to have his own snazzy costume with an “S” er, an “HP” or lightning bolt on his chest. As for a secret lair – I’ve heard something about a Room of Requirement…
If I Were a Boy, er, Girl…It makes a crazy sort of sense. Slap some ponytails on Potter and you’ve got Moaning Myrtle – which plugs right into the what-if-Harry-Potter-was-a-girl fanfic trope. Frequently, authors make their girl version of Harry look like a red-haired, green-eyed mini-Lily Evans just so they can see how it would mess with Snape’s mind.
But dark-haired girl Harry works too. Let’s see Snape try to smack a snickering girl Harry, or should we say Harriet, in the back of the head now. Heh heh. Do they have child protective services in the wizard world?
Sex God Draco: What is it with those Slytherins anyway? Is it the galleons? The pureblood hauteur? The potion fumes? Greasy Snape, who somehow has a passel of dedicated fan girls, isn’t the only fanfic heartthrob from Slytherin. Fanfic authors have also given Draco Malfoy – yeah, the one who got punched by a girl and practically ran away crying – the sex god treatment.
This smokin’ hot Draco is a perennial fanfic fixture, either as part of a Draco/Hermione (or Dramione) romance – as depicted here, or on his own, cutting a swath of sexual conquest through Slytherin House or all of Hogwarts. Maybe they need to call Filch to air out the dungeons. Clearly those fumes have gone to people’s heads!
Nose-less, yes. Sparkles, no. Okay, no the Harry Potter series did not have the sweeping grandeur of The Lord of the Rings – although we did get five more movies, hah! Take that Gandalf!
We still reserve the right to look askance at that Twili– er, I mean Twinkie vampire franchise that had the nerve to swipe one of our key chara-, uh, actors. Say what you want about HP, but at least Voldie never had the nerve to sparkle!
Welcome to Hogwarts‘ work-study program! This is what happens when your Hogwarts letter fantasy crashes into your actual reality. Okay maybe you’re not exactly sweeping floors. Maybe you’re just working that cash register, brewing those lattes, or driving to your next Uber passenger. Whatever. Magic is no substitute for money.
Just because your Hogwarts letter finally arrived doesn’t mean you’ve escaped the work day grind. You’ve still gotta make a living – even at Hogwarts. What? You think they let those brooms just sit around waiting for someone to fly them? Besides, it’s a big castle. Filch can’t do everything!
It’s a fanfic thing, you wouldn’t understand. When your Muggles, er, friends and family express concern over your obsession with reading and writing fanfiction, don’t go into a spiel about how it lets you live your Harry Potter fantasies without winding up in the looney bin.
Don’t even expound on how fanfiction is nurturing the next generation of great writers, like yourself. Just raise your head with that Slytherin hauteur (you know they’re the best house for that) and admit that of course you’re obsessed. And water is wet. This is news? Cue the classic Snape eyeroll.
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